Holding on to comfort

This post is identifying a place and time where I've held on to my comfort zone, which prevents me from learning and has and will hold me back.


-I am really close and comfortable with my photographer. I don't feel like I am under any pressure when I am shooting with him.

-I also am extremely comfortable in front of a camera. I'm not sure how I could change that--perhaps a different photographer (not that I would even want to!) or a different setting

-modeling in itself makes me really comfortable. It is really soothing for me.

In response to a response...

I will be responding to the response a woman wrote about my blog.

Her name is Meggie. I have no idea who she is. 

She suggested I take more pictures (and post them) of the random bits in my project; however, I have a really difficult time posting random unnecessary things to my blog. I believe every post should have meaning behind it.

She mentioned that she believes I am doing a lot of the work and I am just not showing it. The only idea I could derive from that is posting the final images I create from the shoots. I don't want to reveal them to a lot of people until my gallery in June. I want it to be a surprise to everyone. 

Meggie mentioned she believe's I am aware of what my blog is missing....

I don't think anything is missing. It is my blog behind my character. I am creating it completely out of my own mind, using my ideas and thoughts in all of my posts. How can anyone judge or tell me that my thoughts and ideas are right or wrong?

I do like the idea of having someone video tape a shoot. I might do that this wednesday!

I do admit that I occasionally am struck with a bought of procrastination; however, I always do twice the work in the next shoot or the next week to compensate. I am accomplishing a lot, and perhaps it is not easy to see or tell, and maybe that is something I have to be a little bit more clear on. I definitely do not want to put the photos up though. 

I'm not going to sugar coat it

I don't really like blogging for WISE.

I'm not sure if it's because I have to go out of my way to blog, 

or that we're supposed to meet some fancy blog post quota every week, 

or the mere fact that I don't really like being on the computer.

To me, it's not enjoyable to blog about random crap that I KNOW people don't really care about--

Like the fact that I found the chair I am going to use for my Marilyn Monroe shoot this wednesday, or even that I am doing that shoot wednesday at all.

Perhaps it's an insecurity I possess-- I don't want to post anything I know wont interest people. Anything I know people will not comment on and smile when they read. 

Perhaps I'm just lazy. 

Partner read (pt. 2)

I read through the beautiful Julia John's blog tonight and I am blown away and a tad jealous....her blog is really really good. I know this post is supposed to be full of constructive criticism, but man.... I can't find one thing wrong with her blog. She is so descriptive, and all of her posts are really long and full of pictures with full detailed descriptions. It is very easy to read, as well as extremely interesting!

Partner Read

On the back of the "out of the rut" page, Mrs. Lord (or whoever typed this paper up) wrote "If you find yourself focusing on your project on an intimate level--very detailed, make sure to occasionally take a step back and address the macro or 'big picture' side of things."

What are the implications for your project on a career scale? 
Realistically: the chances of me following my project (on a broader spectrum) into a career, are slim to none. I am a mere 5'1 when PETITE models are at least 5'5-5'6
However, my project WILL provide me with insight of what craziness model's go through, and, going into the fashion industry, this information could be very valuable down the road--or it could simply just be something awesome to put on my resume and my college applications.

In what way does your project matter (or not!) in the larger scheme of things?
I can give two answers to this, one being very biased, and one being very general.
Biased: To me, pop culture has SO much influence on our world, on our government, our economy, our society, community, the way we treat people, EVERYTHING. In the larger scheme of things, this is another piece of art being put out into the world that can change someone, can affect someone, influence someone, my art could be someone's inspiration. My art could make people happy and feel...things.
General: This project, to an every day person who lives day to day that doesn't really have a negative feeling towards pop culture and art but doesn't hype about it like I do, might not really care. Some people could look at my art and simply just wonder what the hell they are looking at and why.

The gift of individual interpretation is pretty damn amazing.

What's a broader view or perspective on what you find yourself doing frequently?

I am always singing, or stepping waltz's and tap moves in the lunch line. I love putting on clothes and taking them off every night before I go to sleep, I love self improvement--be it mentally, physically, emotionally. I love bettering myself and thinking; I, every second of every single day, have a very detailed, very curious and in depth monologue that rolls through my head at all times. These all can tie in to perfecting my project.

The long lost search for a stupid chair

Hey guys!

My next shoot is going to be of the beautiful Marilyn Monroe--my favorite photograph of her ever!

heavenly

So George and I have been searching high and low for a stupid chair, and after a few weeks of searching, I discovered one that I have seen every day for two years! It is actually the foot rest of a chair in my art room! Funny how blind you can be to something right under your nose!

For this shoot, I'll be needing what I believe is called a petty coat? Or something very similar to it.

I will need a white strapless top which I already own, and I'll be needing red nail polish and red lipstick. 

I am not sure how I will be getting my hair like this, or if I will have to buy a wig yet! 

Im a Barbie girl

Don't you just wish you could be her?

I got to be her for a day so HAH! This shoot was so so so much fun. 

Barbie was always one of my idols as a child and one of my favorite halloween costumes, so this shoot kind of came naturally to me. The first shot I did, was simply the head shot (as shown above.)

I used huuuuge fake eye lashes, hair sprayed my hair into perfect position, caked on two layers of foundation, swept pink eyeshadow over my lids, and sealed the look with hot pink lipstick! 

The second shoot I did, I had to have help from my amazing boyfriend Aidan Quest. (I am so lucky to have a boyfriend who was willing to do this!) 

He even let me kiss him on the cheek!

This I Believe

Today, in class, we listend to an audio reading of an essay a famous producer/director. (I forgot which one) He talked about how he really doesn't feel that he is living his life unless he is out of his comfort zone. He feel's as though he can not live a full and amazing life if he is not constantly pushing himself close to the edge.

I, to an extent, agree with this idea. I think that you will never experience new things if you are not pushing yourself. 

HOWEVER, sometimes pushing yourself too much can wear you down.

For instance:

I am absolutely terrified of heights, I am terrified of falling. I don't like feeling the large spike of adrenaline shooting through my veins. Skydiving is probably not a sport I should push myself to do. 

I think you can push yourself out of your comfort zone, but not too far--to the point where it is unhealthy for you. 

Things are getting really, really exciting

This past week George and I drove out to a beautiful Greek revival home owned by the sweetest older couple. They used to raise clydesdales, but retired to just owning little shetland ponies.

(this is a shetland pony..they're like the corgis of ponies)

This house was where we chose (and kind of needed) to do our Grace Kelly shoot. 

This house had huge beams like the one Grace is leaning against in this photo. I unfortunately could not get a photo of the house because the owners didn't want their house to be easily identifiable in any of our photos. 

This shoot was particularly tricky because I was literally staring directly into the sunlight. I had to count to three with my eyes shut and then open them really wide, really quick, while maintaining posture, and calm. It was very hard to keep myself looking and feeling relaxed. 

Things aren't always as they seem

Hey guys! The last couple weeks have been hectic for me, so prepare for tons and tons of posts.
First off, I'd like to give a little insider on what actually happens behind the scenes and how things really are when George and I are shooting.


Firstly
Most of the time, I am not fully garbed in everything that the person in the original photo is wearing. This photo is an example. Audrey Hepburn was wearing a cute little black dress, which I had, however; George's studio is so cold! I kept my pants and socks and my slippers on the whole shoot.

Secondly
When people look at this photo, they see a beautiful Audrey Hepburn paired with pouty lips, a long cigarette holder, and her big beautiful eyes.

What a lot of people don't see is the shadow along her chin, the angle of it, the glimmer in her earrings, how intricate and tricky her hair actually could have been to create, the nude matte on her lips, the reflection of light in her brunette hair in correlation with the shadow along her chin, how her hand is holding her cigarette and at what angle, even the fact that she is holding it in her left hand, or the shape and contour around her nose.

When recreating these photos, George and I have to take into extremely close consideration of each and every little minor detail. Take a look at this photo again

George had set up so many reflectors and lights and stands just to create the right angles of shadows and reflections on my hair and face and body. Along with that, I had to turn and twist and be very very uncomfortable to get myself in the right angle!

Thirdly
There is a lot of improvisation of props. In my Coco Chanel shot, George actually ran to pier 1 and bought a round pillow that looked like the arm of a couch, only to return it the next day. In my Audrey Hepburn shot, I used a long skinny dowel as my cigarette holder. I painted it with silver nail polish (luckily I hated that one anyways) and it looked pretty perfect in comparison. In my Grace Kelly shoot, instead of wearing a beautiful, very expensive dress, I put on a nude tank top and a beaded scarf around my torso! This whole project is just one big puzzle, and I sometimes have to find some crazy ways to push through it!